If teaching karate were my job

So I’ve been getting a number quotes for having air cons installed at my place. First thing I learned is there’s always a callout fee. Anywhere from $150 to $250 just for the privilege of a guy farting near your fuse box before we even talk about what needs to be done. Then once they’re on-site, the meter starts running in 15-minute blocks. Not labour, just time spent existing in your house. Anyway, I got the quotes back and for the identical system and number of air cons, same install = $10,000 to $20,000. Double the price, for the exact same thing. Which got me thinking, how many years does it actually take to become an air-con installer? Few years of apprenticeship, trade school, on-the-job training. Totally respectable. But of course, I had to compare it to karate.

We’ve been going to Okinawa, year after year, to refine skills and deepen understanding with each trip having cost a decent chunk. Flights, accommodation, training fees and that’s just the start. Add to that alcohol (essential), shouting others food and drinks (because manners & hespect), twice daily porko sandos, yearly affiliation fees, dojo fees, thank you for your cooperation fees, time off work etc. When I add it all up, I’ve spent more than most electricians will on their education, tools, uniforms and probably lunch for life. And here I am charging a one-off $200 fee for a lifetime of training. Well, that 200 isn’t exactly for the karate, but more of a polite deterrent so I don’t completely waste my time teaching gekkisai if a student decides to quit after three months because their dog has separation anxiety. Let that sink in. No callout fart-near-fuse-box fee. No 15-minute billing increments. No “stress surcharge.”

Now imagine if karate were my full-time job, the same way air conditioning is theirs. What would I charge? Could I bill people for every 15 minutes in the dojo? What about a stress surcharge like resolving people conflicts, managing personality differences, or student chucking a tanty fee? Can I start charging extra for listening to twenty-minute excuses about why someone missed training? Maybe slap on a 25% surcharge for fixing all the bad habits they learned at a McDojo where the head instructor can’t even pronounce the name of the style, let alone the kata.

Obviously I don’t teach karate for the dough, but sometimes I wonder why I do it. Maybe it’s just habit or a love. Or maybe it’s just a desperate attempt to keep me from opening and closing the fridge, stuffing myself with food when I’m not even hungry - well for a few hours at least.

But one thing I do know is the karate I try to give people, is something that makes sense. It definitely doesn’t teach discipline, resilience, humility and all that other funky stuff that people associate with martial arts, well definitely not from me. That stuff should come from the journey (or ya mum), not the instructor.

I’ve mentioned it several times in previous blogs: maybe I’m just disheartened by the current state of karate where too many instructors pretend to know something of value and pass on whatever garbage they can with confidence, a belt, and exorbitant fees. Maybe I feel some weird responsibility to preserve the Okinawan karate I’ve been lucky enough to receive year after year from my sensei to make sure it doesn’t vanish into commercial nonsense and Youtube kata tutorials.

I don’t know but hey, if I ever charged like an electrician, you would definitely need a GoFundMe just to learn how to tie your belt properly…..osssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssu.

"5 more minutes or I'll have to charge you peasants over-time!"