So, it happened again today, the other week, and last month too – heck several months ago also. Enough to make me blabber on here. So, during this period, I’ve received similar inquiries about hoping to train with us due to their current unhappy state within their present karate organisation. A regular theme since the day we started this website, but boy does it seem like there’s a lot of unhappy karate folks out there. Maybe I should rename this page to God’s-saviour-for-the-miserable-karateka.com. So out of the three most recent inquiries, I decided to have a face-to-face chat with only one due to the other two’s uncertainty on if they could or be willing to leave their present club (both of over 20 years). Hmmm, so why inquire in the first place? Seems to me that people often just want to express their complaints and issues and not willing to change - Oh no, I have to leave my much-adored comfort zone. Sometimes I wonder why I even offer to help when people don’t seem to want it, yet they were the ones asking for it in the first place. Go figure. Anyway, here are my words of wisdom for all you potential people who have been thinking about jumping ship to the big bad world of Okinawan Goju Ryu (or a different style, or club, or whatever).
Dear Mr/ Ms Potential I-wanna-train-with-you people,
Are you in a dojo or club where you’re unhappy or wondering why your sensei says this and this but can’t actually do it? Are you thinking there’s gotta be more to karate than X, Y, and Z? Have you ever wondered why your blocks never work? Have you ever been upset because you have to pay training fees only to have to teach the class yourself? What’s stopping you from leaving all that bullshido? Maybe you have been in your club for 10 or 20 years or even longer and feel that you have already invested in so much time & energy. Or is it all that money you have been feeding to your overweight sensei – enough to fund his new Toyota Hilux? No way you can leave now right? I’m not trying to persuade you or anyone else to join our club - Our dojo is full enough as it is; however, my offer to help is always there for those that are genuinely seeking it.
For those poor lost souls in the karate world, how about focusing on what you could gain from finding a better instructor or dojo (not talking about us) instead of what you may lose by jumping ship. Whether you’ve tolerated your Miz-er-a-bull Kai Karate for a year, or even half a lifetime, why continue allowing yourself to be unhappy just because you believe all that prior misery would be wasted otherwise. I know it takes a large set of jazzcrackers to take action, but unless a contract where you will be tortured and killed if you change dojos has been signed, what’s preventing you from walking away from your club that you aren’t happy with?
Oh, but that means I will be putting everyone at the dojo in a tough position…..
You can always explain your reasoning to your kouhai, senpai, sensei and/or students. Having several tough discussions is a very minor price to pay for what’s best for you here on in and the long term. If you are the sensei committed to say 5, 10 or whatever the number of people and you no longer want to continue teaching or involved with your dojo, it’s rather simple - give a genuine reason for wanting to leave, provide as much notice possible, and then cya later alligator. Your students, senpai, or sensei will learn to adapt; people can and will sort that shit out even without your osssu-ing ass. At the end of the day, it’s just karate – not a life-or-death situation so please repeat after me – She’ll be right. On the other hand, if you remain in the same ole rut, will you be fine with that? How about your sanity? Will you continue to feel trapped and in a state of suffering? Trapped in the dojo you rather not be a part of and unable to do what it is you genuinely want to do?
Oh but people will think ill of me if I leave…..
Nah mate, it’s like wearing the same old run down 30-year-old blue flanno in front of your mates every time you meet up - No one really cares. And you’re not a bad dude or dudette just because you no longer want to be involved with your club. In contrast, I’d find that you’re a person worthy of anyone's time & respect due to recognising something isn’t right for you.
Just like a dull relationship with an ex partner, if your heart isn’t in it anymore it's time to move on, let it go….. let it goooo can't hold it back anymore….Let it go!
I’ve come to realise I need to stop helping those who don’t want to be helped. To the dejected and discontent karateka out there considering change, just trust your gut, there isn’t another sole on earth more qualified to help you more than yourself. That’s right - Time to start helping yourself!