It seems that many people find saying NO to their partners, kids, mates, managers etc rather challenging. Maybe it is because of their culture, an aggressive boss, maybe their children are spoilt brats, or the fact that they have an over-dominant partner. Or it could be as simple as they care too much about these people and prefer to help them at any cost, often at the expense of themselves – Yes, that is I - well towards my students anyway. Over the past year or so, I have found that being over-accommodating to students in terms of fitting everyone for training equates to one very tired me both physically and mentally. Yet at the same time I naturally thrive and am full of beans when in the dojo. I do not mind this situation especially when the student is motivated, has a great attitude, and trains in their own time too. I would even offer my left kidney and maybe a right testicle to these dedicated young grasshoppers.
However, when a student does not even send a “Gday” text after missing in action for a month or so, what does that say about their character? Should I have charged them an arm and a leg for them to feel they must train? Money I really do not seek, not a cent, but simply want that attitude of putting karate training first over other things they think are important. If we were a karate school for the sole purpose of pumping out cash, that would be a different story. Who would care if the student trained or not provided they paid up right?
Gone are the days where karateka would travel hours to simply learn any “new” technique from a sensei. This has been replaced with "Oh it's raining I can't train"; "Oh my cat is sick"; "Oh sorry, your dojo being 45 minutes away is too far. My wife / husband blah blah doesn’t like it"… For f sake… even if training is 3 hours each session twice a week that leaves 162 hours to be with each other. Yes, I’m aware of Miyazato Sensei and priority being placed on family and work, but balance is key….Who needs a toxic partner that prevents you from attending training or going to Okinawa? Who needs a job working constant overtime simply to make more money?
Maybe I just can’t understand people and I am the problem, the black sheep of the karate world…. But personally speaking, there’s nothing worse than having to listen to excuses. No no no, none for me.
When you offer your time, energy and sole for nothing ($0), at the cost of sacrificing family and personal time, all you really want in return is a little respect and maybe appreciation...and a nice bottle of red, not much else. How hard can that be?
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